Knowing my Place in the Order; Always Comes back to High School

After much introspection, I've come to acceptance with the realization that I'm a Sigma-male usually, one who is unbound by the classical social hierarchy.  I typically do my own thing.  When faced with routine or conformity, I oftentimes think 'everybody else is doing it (so) why should I.'  That sentiment is born less out of rebellion and the need to be an individual (admittedly there's some of that too) but more from a point of apathy and boredom.

As a Sigma in high school, I clique-surfed.  While maintaining a core-clique anchored by neighborhood buddies from my middle-school bus stop, I tried my hand at hanging with the drama-geeks, the chess nerds, the debate team, etcetera. While my core clique took Spanish, I took Japanese, out of sheer boredom.  Everybody else is doing Spanish,why should I? I wanted challenge of a non-Latinate, non-Germanic tongue.

In classic Sigma fashion, I maintained my personality in each niche.  As my Christian brethren would state it, 'in but not of.'  Skimming the thespians kept me thinking, 'wow, they're inclusive, is this where I should be' but it was ultimately way too libertine for my liking;so, I tried my hand at chess team and debate team and the Ecology Club and Key Club..

'Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in.'

I was recently contacted via facebook messenger by one pf my core-clique friends.  I've known him thirty years in September.  I'm only 38.  Let that sink in.  We've been weightlifting, maybe doing other things soon.  He's  Alpha-male--at the least a strong Bravo (football team, etcetera).  I'm OK being my Sigma-surfer-self.  No butting heads there.

We're soon going to go questing for wives at a local megachurch. He went through the seminary and knows some of the small group leaders there.  After all, 'it's not what you know, it's who you know.'

We were just discussing it over messenger, milestones.  Yeah, milestones, ya dig?


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